With half of all marriages ending in divorce, most of you have either been directly or indirectly affected by it. In my group of friends in school, I was the only one whose parents were not divorced. I will admit, when my friends bragged about having two birthdays (and two of every holiday), I would get a little jealous. However, I didn’t realize the pain that having two of everything can cause in other aspects of their lives.
Problems in any marriage are inevitable. As much as people may try to have the “perfect marriage,” there is no such thing. However, difficult situations and problems are not always a cause for divorce. The Bible only gives one acceptable reason for divorce. Matthew 5:32: “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery…”
No matter what reason is given for a divorce, it is still difficult for all involved. Even the spouse who may have initiated the divorce may find the consequences of their actions difficult to live with. Children of the marriage may find it especially difficult to live with the sudden change in family stability. Having made no mistake, and not always understanding the reasoning behind the split, children in the home somehow end up having to bear the brunt of the situation. Children are juggled between the two parents, having to change beds, clothes, parenting styles, and homes. It is unfair, yes, but a sad reality of our society’s ever-growing demise of marriage.
As Christians, we all sin. So, as children, it is important to realize that our parents may make mistakes. They may have problems in their marriage. Those problems are no reflection on the children. And, although many children find it difficult to accept the thought of their parents living separately, it is something that needs to be worked out between the parents. It will be hard at times to not get caught in the middle, going back and forth between the two. But, remember that although they may not like or love each other anymore, what they say about each other does not have to control how you feel about them. They are still your parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Trying to adjust can be difficult. Sometimes talking the problem out will help you deal with the situation and find a way to accept the new changes in your life. Going to a parent is usually the best advice; however, depending on the situation of the divorce, it may be best to talk to a counselor, teacher, or friend. A third party with an outside perspective of the situation may be able to offer a different way to look at the problems so that they are better understood and accepted. Above all, make sure to spend time in prayer and reading God’s Word, so you can feel the continual comfort and support from our Father who is always with us.
By Sarah Ancheta