College bound

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, but lately he acts like he doesn’t care anymore! I hate it, but on the other hand he can be the sweetest guy. He helps me with things and he is a gentleman, but sometimes he has his bi-polar ways. There is also a 2-year age difference and he’s going to college this year, but I’ll still be in high school. What should I do? – Dory

My first question is, do you think you are ready to marry him, or that you could marry him? Is he someone who helps you grow and encourages you in your relationship with God? If your heart says no, then you do not need to continue the relationship. If he is not someone whom you can currently depend on to be stable in his actions, he may never be that person.

Having girlfriends and boyfriends is not in itself a bad thing; however, it can lead to temptation and unrealistic expectations of marriage, especially at your age. To remain pure in all of our relationships should be a priority and a call to obedience toward God. If you and your boyfriend have given in to temptation, then you would both be living in an unhealthy and disobedient manner (I Thessalonians 4:3-7). Our past relationships, whether good or bad, influence us in many ways and are carried with us throughout our lives. Also, the popular or “normal” thing to do, which dating sometimes is, is not always the right thing to do. God is preparing someone for you, if His will is for you to someday marry. You just need to trust and follow His direction by reading the Bible, praying, and working on your relationship with God first and foremost. This relationship with God will teach you to be ready to listen and recognize when He places His choice in your life.

It seems to me your boyfriend is taking you for granted. It is easy to take each other for granted, but that is not an excuse for treating you poorly. Taking each other for granted happens often enough in a relationship. I can easily fall into taking my wife for granted; therefore, we must continually work to renew our marriage so we can be thankful for and appreciate one another. The person you choose to share your life with also needs to be willing to work at the relationship, to be thankful for you, and to show that thankfulness by treating you properly.

You must also realize that once he goes to college, he will be starting a new chapter of his life, apart from you. He will be faced with different things that you have probably not faced yet. It’s very easy for us to become comfortable with someone we’ve been with for awhile, and we often don’t want to give up the relationship simply because we feel we’ve invested so much time and energy into it. I encourage you to realistically look at this person and decide if he is someone you could really see yourself marrying, and as a result, growing old with. If not, no matter how hard it may be to admit, it’s time to give up the relationship.

If you have a question you’d like a guy’s opinion about, please let us know!

By Adam Grimenstein